Monkey in the Middle

We were in church Sunday and Gordon said something that prompted G and I to look at each other and ask, simultaneously, "Which one of us needed to learn patience, that God gave us K?" But seriously, I am learning SO much by walking through life with K. He stretches me almost every day in new ways. And I find that the things I am teaching him, I also need to apply to my own life.

For example, in swimming a week or so ago, the kids had some free time after practice and some of the older kids were throwing a football back and forth, and K asked if he could play too, but they wouldn't share. (Previously, when he has pushed them, they have reluctantly agreed and will play "Monkey in the Middle"--which my generation called "keep away"--until K is frustrated to tears.) This hurt K. He wants SO much to be a part of the group, to play sports, especially. On the trip home, we talked about how sharing would have been the right thing for those boys to do, and probably what God would have wanted them to do; but we can't force people to do the right thing, we can't force them to do what God wants. I told K that if that were to happen again, he either needed to be content to play by himself or to find someone who WOULD play with him. I also told him to remember how it felt to be excluded, and when someone asked him to share and he didn't want to, to remember this.

But those words are speaking into my own life as well. There are situations where I am frustrated by the choices other people make--choices that hurt my feelings, that exclude me, choices that I think are wrong (whether they are or not, God only knows). But I have to take my own advice--go find someone else who WILL play, and remember not to exclude anyone.

Wasn't there a book once called something like "All I Ever Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten"? Well, MY life lessons are coming to me through a 2nd grader. I must have missed that year!! And as hard as it is to be repeating this grade, and to see this precious, tender little boy get hurt, I could not be more thankful for him being a part of my life. During the more difficult years, G and I started this habit every morning of hugging K when he first got up and telling him how happy we are that God made him a part of our family. We have continued this, and I think it has changed our hearts--or at least kept us focused and truly thankful. And I hope that it gets so deep into K's psyche that in later years, when difficult times come for him, he will not question that he is wanted and loved and valued by the people who know him best--even though the world is telling him the opposite.

There is a line from a song that has gotten me through a lot of hard times, and when the world plays "Monkey in the Middle" with you I hope this comforts you. "The One who knows me best loves me most."

And that's the truth!