There is a popular song by the group Mercy Me called I Can Only Imagine. If you have never heard it, the lyrics are below. Take a minute and listen to it and let it soak into your heart.
Either by design or by conditioning, I tend to be a fairly reserved person. I love my church, but I don't really fit in to the worship style. I'm not saying I don't enjoy it; but I sometimes I lack the inhibition to just let myself worship...This is an area where God is working in me--and I'm pretty sure it's WAY down on the list. But this song always makes me feel like whatever my response to God is, it's okay. I don't have to conform to what everyone around me is doing.
When I was 12, we moved from Vancouver to Anchorage. We took the scenic route, but our dog and cat took the plane. I remember going to pick them up at the airport. Our dog, in his crate, was sitting silently. Our cat, in her crate, was letting the whole airport know, in her operatic yowling aria, that she was not happy about her circumstances. I'm sure, had there been a translator present, people there might have heard, "I demand to see the owner. You have no right to keep me penned up. Don't you KNOW who I am? I have rights! When I get outta here, heads will roll...."
It had been at least a week, perhaps more, since I had seen my pets, and I was as excited to see them as they were to see me. I still remember my cat's voice then. Before I could even see the crates, and before my pets could see me, I called to them. Immediately, my cat became silent and my dog began singing a happy, yippy, I'm-SO-glad-to-see-you song.
The contrast was so great, that I still remember that moment, more than three decades later, and will probably remember it the rest of my life. It was almost funny, how opposite their reactions were, both to being crated and alone, and to hearing my voice.
I think about that in worship, when I am quiet and my fellow worshippers are dancing and waving their hands. I imagine, should Jesus return at that moment, speaking to us from the doorway, that they would fall flat on their faces and be still, and I would be dancing and singing and jumping around like a happy dog, reunited at long last with his family. I can only imagine.
I Can Only Imagine
I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by Your side.
I can only imagine what my eyes will see when Your Face is before me.
I can only imagine, Yeah.
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing "Hallelujah"? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine.
I can only imagine.
I can only imagine, when that day comes, and I find myself standing in the Son.
I can only imagine, when all I will do is forever, forever worship You.
I can only imagine.
Yeah, I can only imagine.
3 comments:
Great post, once again...I've also slowly learned about being true to myself and the way I worship. I can't help but tap my feet, and move a little...I still feel shy about raising my hands but the desire is there, so I try to follow it. And (much to my chagrin) I am a cryer. When I feel the Spirit it usually erupts in tears. Only once in a great while will I get a joyful, shouting sort of feeling. Letting myself be who I am has helped me let others be who they are too, without judging what they do or don't do. I love the illustration of your pets and their alternating responses. This post will have me thinking for a few days - THANK YOU for sharing it.
Thank you. i really do LOVE my church, and I'm thankful that I can be "just me" there!! I think that no matter what situation we are in, those of us who are a little insecure in whatever area will always "feel" the pressure to conform, whether it is actually there or not.
I cry too. My friend was saying last night that she was reading with her children about Jesus being beaten before his crucifixion and how one of them responded, "Can we skip that part?", but she looked at it from the other side and said, "No, we need to be joyful. He had to go through that in order that we could be WITH him."
I'm still chewing on THAT one. I can't help but approach communion and the crucifixion with, "I'm so, so, so sorry that you had to go through that for me." --and of course the accompanying tears. But last night, as we shared communion, and I was asking for another way to look at this, He reminded me that by taking communion I am "proclaiming Christ's death until he returns" and that it's like a remembrance stone, a gift He has given us that we WILL dine with him one day!! And, yes, that is cause for JOY!!
What a great blog post. I came from a Mennonite background, attended an Assembly of God church for years, and now attend a Nazarene church. I know what it is like to worship God in different ways. By nature I tend towards quiet and very internal worship. I wonder too, what will it be like when I see Him? How will I respond in that moment? Will I cry like I always seem to do now in very sweet intimate moments of worship?
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