I'm pleased with you!

I recently found a journal of mine from 20 years ago. In it I wrote that I believed there were parts of me that God could not use, like my need to always be right. God is so patient. I asked Him, 20 years ago, to prune away the parts of me that He could not use. I suppose I still have that tendency, to always want to be right and to argue my point--at least to some extent. We cannot seem to cut away those things in ourselves very well. But it did occur to me that God gave me a son so very much like me in that area, that I get to see on a daily basis how difficult that trait is to live with and how it gets in the way of building relationships, and WHY it is important that that limb be pruned. As I look around at my relatives, I can see that this is a genetic trait that has been passed along. I can truly say that I come by it honestly. But that doesn't change how that trait affects our lives and relationships. And I suppose, there is nothing better to fix something in yourself than to see it in one of your children.

That aside, it's very disheartening to know that I saw that 20 years ago and STILL I am working on it!! It makes me feel like a failure. There are many things I have done right in my life, but many more that I have done wrong. I think, if you were to look at me from the "world's" perspective, you would have to say that on the whole I'm a failure. I don't have a high-paying job, a really nice, house, a manicured yard, or live in an uptown neighborhood, nor do I drive a snazzy car, have nice clothes, hang with the "in" crowd, read all the newest books or keep up with the latest movies or TV shows.

We recently heard a talk (sermon, if you will) that came from the Foursquare conference our pastors attended early this summer. The main point that the speaker was trying to make was that of utmost importance for our churches to thrive and grow was that the members remember the love they first had with Christ. He went on to talk about lots of other things that make churches "look" successful, but in the end, what makes them successful is how they relate to Christ. And one of the examples he used to illustrate this that touched me most deeply was the picture of Jesus' baptism. He said that the world would have waited until the end of Jesus' ministry to evaluate him, to say whether he had been "successful" or not. But the Father chose the very beginning of his ministry to express this. If you recall, when Jesus came up out of the water, the spirit descended on him like a dove and a voice from heaven said, "This is my son, in whom I am well pleased."

Those are words I need to hear every day. I need to hear God say to me, "You are mine, and I"m well pleased with you." It's not about my success in this world, it's about my response to Him.